Vocabulary I never learnt at school

I have just discovered this surprising article on a local web newsletter, which keeps the stout burgers of Cisternino up-to-date with hip-hap-happening events

Among other things, I learnt the Italian term for “swingers”. I must admit, when I first read the headline about “un club per scambisti” I had in mind a completely different sexual orientation indeed. It was with a limp sense of anti-climax, as it were, that I discovered that the article referred to that old hat habit of wife-swapping (before it was politically corrected to “partner swapping”).


What I really enjoyed about the article was the pretend shock horror of the risqué goings on in, of all places, Martina Franca, the racy, all things go, neighbour of our beloved old maid, Cisternino. The location of the club, for example, is “not far from the city centre” and then we are helpfully told, “in Via Ceglie”, just in case you were wondering. The real clincher though, is the tits and bums banner that accompanies the article, in true ooh-err-missus style. I am reminded of a Rowan Atkinson sketch which I adapt without apology: “We must be salacious. We must not be salaciousless. We must not be accused of salaciouslessness. We must, above all, be salaciouslessnessless ! Max Clifford where are you? On second thoughts, don’t answer that !